Fans Like Me

[virginian]

Two quotes from Grace:

"As a golfer I'm Grace, but as a person I'm Ji Eun. But I could be either. I don't really care."

"Earning the Player of the Year award, that was huge to me, even when I was lonely and was going through some hard times alone in Arizona, I was, you know, because of the award everything was worth it."

One quote from me:

"One thing is certain, she has to get her thoughts together and get her head in the right place."

First let me say that I like golf, but I'm not so much a fan of golf as I am a fan of Grace. Sometimes I think that if she were a construction worker, I would spend a good many of my lunch hours sitting across the street from where she was working and just sit there watching her pound nails. Some of you think that is extreme. I think it's okay.

But fans like myself can sometimes have a pretty narrow focus and a rather short sight. Many of us have been thinking that Grace's head is not where it should be and that her thoughts are not organized properly. And we may be dead wrong. Let me explain. I'm going to review some things that some of you may already know, but I'm going to add a perspective that maybe you did not already have.

At the age of 12 Grace was sent to live in a foreign country. She spent a large portion, if not all of her high school years and her college years away from home, away from family, away from where she really wanted to be. That may not seem like so much to deal with, but I have personal experience with similar circumstances, and it causes confusion in your heart even if you can rationalize the reasons.

Several things come into play. When you are not living with your family, it is almost impossible to be familiar with the inner workings and dynamics of how the family operates. Grace was probably expected to behave the way Korean culture dictates and beyond that, in very specific ways dictated by her family's expectations. I have met several members of Grace's family. Her mother is a wonderful woman. She recognizes me every time she sees me even though she only sees me once or twice a year, and then only as part of the gallery following Grace's group. I especially liked meeting and talking to her older sister, an extremely nice woman. Her father is honorable and in my estimation, somewhat noble. I would consider myself lucky to have someone like him as my father. But my impression is that he is also pretty demanding and somewhat strict.

In many ways, Grace is "Americanized", but she is not American. In many ways she is expected to be Korean, but many things about Korea are unfamiliar to her. There are probably things about her own family that she doesn't understand. And yet, here she is trying to reconcile all of these contradictions, trying to live up to all of the competing expectations, and in the midst of all that, trying to find personal happiness as well. So if her head is filled with thoughts of trying to figure all of that out, consciously and subconsciously, leaving less available thoughts about golf, I think that is understandable.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense to you, but it makes sense to me. And I am going to try not to expect so much from her, and try to offer more support, and pray that she can find comfort, contentment, and happiness that she can carry with her for the rest of her life.

[Hoot]

Well Dale, if what you say here is true, and I think it makes sense, then is there any wonder why Grace is a self described stress nut case? Like you, I hope she is OK, and can find the things she wants, the things that matter to her and she can find happiness to carry on in this life. Golf is just a game and all I think any of us fans can expect of Grace is for her to do her best. God Bless!

[PAC RIM]

Originally Posted by virginian

Two quotes from Grace:

"As a golfer I'm Grace, but as a person I'm Ji Eun. But I could be either. I don't really care."

"Earning the Player of the Year award, that was huge to me, even when I was lonely and was going through some hard times alone in Arizona, I was, you know, because of the award everything was worth it."

One quote from me:

"One thing is certain, she has to get her thoughts together and get her head in the right place."

First let me say that I like golf, but I'm not so much a fan of golf as I am a fan of Grace. Sometimes I think that if she were a construction worker, I would spend a good many of my lunch hours sitting across the street from where she was working and just sit there watching her pound nails. Some of you think that is extreme. I think it's okay.

But fans like myself can sometimes have a pretty narrow focus and a rather short sight. Many of us have been thinking that Grace's head is not where it should be and that her thoughts are not organized properly. And we may be dead wrong. Let me explain. I'm going to review some things that some of you may already know, but I'm going to add a perspective that maybe you did not already have.

At the age of 12 Grace was sent to live in a foreign country. She spent a large portion, if not all of her high school years and her college years away from home, away from family, away from where she really wanted to be. That may not seem like so much to deal with, but I have personal experience with similar circumstances, and it causes confusion in your heart even if you can rationalize the reasons.

Several things come into play. When you are not living with your family, it is almost impossible to be familiar with the inner workings and dynamics of how the family operates. Grace was probably expected to behave the way Korean culture dictates and beyond that, in very specific ways dictated by her family's expectations. I have met several members of Grace's family. Her mother is a wonderful woman. She recognizes me every time she sees me even though she only sees me once or twice a year, and then only as part of the gallery following Grace's group. I especially liked meeting and talking to her older sister, an extremely nice woman. Her father is honorable and in my estimation, somewhat noble. I would consider myself lucky to have someone like him as my father. But my impression is that he is also pretty demanding and somewhat strict.

In many ways, Grace is "Americanized", but she is not American. In many ways she is expected to be Korean, but many things about Korea are unfamiliar to her. There are probably things about her own family that she doesn't understand. And yet, here she is trying to reconcile all of these contradictions, trying to live up to all of the competing expectations, and in the midst of all that, trying to find personal happiness as well. So if her head is filled with thoughts of trying to figure all of that out, consciously and subconsciously, leaving less available thoughts about golf, I think that is understandable.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense to you, but it makes sense to me. And I am going to try not to expect so much from her, and try to offer more support, and pray that she can find comfort, contentment, and happiness that she can carry with her for the rest of her life.

It is so sad when a True Fan falls from the nest and crashes into reality.

[virginian]

Originally Posted by PAC RIM

It is so sad when a True Fan falls from the nest and crashes into reality.

PAC RIM,

I am confused by your response. You seem to think that I have given up on Grace. Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe in Grace's resiliency, tenacity, and spirit.

She is a sensitive, intelligent woman and I believe she will eventually understand and appreciate the advantages she has. For example, she does not have only one home but she has two, Korea and America. She does not have only one family, but she has two, her Korean blood relative family, and the people who took her into their home here in America and "adopted" her. She has as much talent, maybe more, than any woman playing on the LPGA tour today.

She can take advantage of that talent to travel, meet new friends, and establish a legacy of excellence. She is still young enough to accomplish every goal she can think of on the tour. And after her playing days are done, she will still be young enough to live where she wants, do what she wants and enjoy life to the fullest. It took me a while to figure out and understand that no matter what has happened in our lives until now, to a large extent we can create the future we want.

No one can take a rock and turn it into a gold nugget. But consider the things that Grace has. She has two wonderful homes, she has a good family ... and she has talent. She will eventually put everything in its proper place in her life and in her mind. And she will be fine.

People like me just need to recognize where Grace is right now, give her time to figure out what she wants and where she wants to be, and then let her realize her dreams. You see, my impatience is not a flaw of Grace's, it's a flaw of mine.

[PAC RIM]

Originally Posted by virginian

PAC RIM,

I am confused by your response. You seem to think that I have given up on Grace. Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe in Grace's resiliency, tenacity, and spirit.

She is a sensitive, intelligent woman and I believe she will eventually understand and appreciate the advantages she has. For example, she does not have only one home but she has two, Korea and America. She does not have only one family, but she has two, her Korean blood relative family, and the people who took her into their home here in America and "adopted" her. She has as much talent, maybe more, than any woman playing on the LPGA tour today.

She can take advantage of that talent to travel, meet new friends, and establish a legacy of excellence. She is still young enough to accomplish every goal she can think of on the tour. And after her playing days are done, she will still be young enough to live where she wants, do what she wants and enjoy life to the fullest. It took me a while to figure out and understand that no matter what has happened in our lives until now, to a large extent we can create the future we want.

No one can take a rock and turn it into a gold nugget. But consider the things that Grace has. She has two wonderful homes, she has a good family ... and she has talent. She will eventually put everything in its proper place in her life and in her mind. And she will be fine.

People like me just need to recognize where Grace is right now, give her time to figure out what she wants and where she wants to be, and then let her realize her dreams. You see, my impatience is not a flaw of Grace's, it's a flaw of mine.

Thank goodness, I thought you were slipping away. Grace needs you now!

[virginian]

[QUOTE=virginian;59603]Two quotes from Grace:

"As a golfer I'm Grace, but as a person I'm Ji Eun. But I could be either. I don't really care."

"Earning the Player of the Year award, that was huge to me, even when I was lonely and was going through some hard times alone in Arizona, I was, you know, because of the award everything was worth it."

The one of these two quotes that I want to talk about is the first.

But before I do, let me say that I understand there might be nothing more annoying than a "thinker" with time on his hands ... except maybe a thinker with time on his hands who also fancies himself an amateur psychologist. And I recognize that's me. But bear with me for a second if you can.

I think the important part of that quote is the "But I could be either. I don't really care." part. I think she may be trying to convince HERSELF of that more than she is trying to convince us. I think she really would rather be Ji Eun. Grace's identity may be a little more important to her than our identities are to some of the rest of us because of how much time she spent away from home as a child. We all need to know where we belong ... and that we belong ... somewhere.

Park Ji Eun ... her given Korean name. She wants to be proud of her heritage, proud of who she is. And she most likely is proud of both of those things. But as long as she is in America playing on the LPGA tour, she will be recognized as Grace way more than she is recognized as Ji Eun.

Listen, I know that we all have issues and problems that we are trying to deal with and conquer. And I know that Grace's issues are not so important that they will cause the Sun to fall from the sky. But consider this, when what someone does best ... what that person does for a living ... causes that person to have to give up part of his or her identity, even if only temporarily, it must weigh heavily on that person's mind.

[cougar]

Dale, I met up with Brian and Grace in the practice area today. Grace was hard at work with her short approach shots - 20 - 30 yards. I told her that it was about time that she played well, and she agreed. I watched for about 20 minutes, and she was hitting the shots very crisply - a good sign. Now she just has to hit her drives straight and putt well.

[virginian]

Originally Posted by cougar

Dale, I met up with Brian and Grace in the practice area today. Grace was hard at work with her short approach shots - 20 - 30 yards. I told her that it was about time that she played well, and she agreed. I watched for about 20 minutes, and she was hitting the shots very crisply - a good sign. Now she just has to hit her drives straight and putt well.

Thanks Cougar,

It's nice to hear that Brian is still hanging in there with her. When she comes around and starts playing like we all know she can, he will be very glad he did.

[Hoot]

OK Guys..........Look........Don't you think Brian deserves some credit for having the integrity and sense of professionalism to stick with Grace through these tough titmes? And yet it seems you guys are breathing a sigh of relief he hasn't bailed on her. Everyone likes to run with the top dog.......but I like to watch how people respond to adversity. Brian seems to be taking things in stride and continiues to be patient in working with Grace. However....if Grace continues to struggle.........play poorly through the rest of this season.........if she takes off for home/Korea after 15 tournaments.....well then I think the decision to look for other opportunities becomes a whole lot easer and appropriate.

I hope that does not happen because I think Brian is good for Grace. Far be if for me to put any pressure on Grace, but of course it's time she played better. She agreed with you about that.............but what else would she say or do??? She is a competitor and this is her livelyhood. Sure, I think she has talent, but the problem is a good part of the field is as talented as she is which makes it hard for her to get back to where she was. And the sad realilty of it is she may never rise to the level she was four or five years ago. All I can hope is that Grace does play the best she can.........if that leads to her competing better, finishing in the top 20, maybe even top 10........great. And if doing her best leads her to a win..........fantastic. Maybe that's something she should ponder herself..............just do your best Grace. May she have a clear mind to focus on what she is doing......one shot at a time.............and make the cut this weekend. Good luck to Grace...............

You keep saying that Grace is the most talented golfer in the world, but

[virginian]

Hoot,

Much of what you say is absolutely true. And much of what I say is nothing more than speculation ... the ramblings of a fan trying to figure out what is going wrong. I completely acknowledge that there is more of a chance that a lot of what I say is wrong than there is that it is right.

This is a forum where we can talk about LPGA golf and about our favorite LPGA golfers. Hopefully, I will not be taken out and shot every time I say something that might not be exactly right. Actually, I probably would have been shot several times already if that were the case.

Regarding Grace's talent, up until 3 years ago, Grace was doing things in golf that had not been done by another woman in more than 50 years (won every amateur major championship in 1998 - not since Patty Berg in 1938). She won 5 of her first 10 professional tournaments. She won her first tournament on the LPGA tour within 4 months of joining the tour and won at least 1 tournament every year for her first 5 years on tour.

There are an awful lot of really talented women on the LPGA tour today. And Grace may not be the most talented of them all. But I think she is. Winning takes more than talent. Whatever it takes, Grace had it up until 3 years ago. And then suddenly her positive golf karma vanished. I don't think it disappeared because she suddenly became less talented. And if you look at the scores of the top 10 golfers in virtually every tournament today, they are not close to what Grace regularly shot before she began her current perplexing journey into mediocrity.

I'll close with this thought. One of the things I talked about is how sometimes a person will say something trying to convince himself or herself more than trying to convince other people. Maybe that's what I am doing. If I say something that sounds to you like it is foolish, or maybe a little misguided, or that you think is just plain wrong, go ahead and call me on it, but if you could give me a little slack ... I'd kind of appreciate it.