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Old 02-02-2012, 04:47 PM   #1
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Health message (unclassified)

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I rapidly realized that I don't really give a hoot. It's the tortoise
life for me!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be
immortal.


2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.


3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.


4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.




And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so!

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Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

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Old 02-02-2012, 05:30 PM   #2
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That's why I'm a couch potato, DB. I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
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Old 02-03-2012, 11:56 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by MarinePaul View Post
That's why I'm a couch potato, DB. I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

MARINEPAUL
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"On this hapless EARTH
There's small SINCERITY of mirth
And LAUGHTER oft is but an ART
To drown the outcry of the HEART!"


Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

Commas save lives!
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:21 PM   #4
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FAMOUS QUOTES:

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
David Bissonette

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."
Sacha Guitry

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
Anonymous

"The great question which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?'"
Dumas

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."
Sigmund Freud

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Anonymous

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Sam Kinison

"I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

James Holt McGavra

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

Patrick Murra

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."
Nash

"You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to."

Anonymous

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met."

Henny Youngman

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
Rodney Dangerfield

"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'"

Anonymous

"First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'"

Anonymous

"If your wife asks what you are thinking tell her...'if I wanted you to know I would be talking not thinking.'"
Al Bundy
__________________
"On this hapless EARTH
There's small SINCERITY of mirth
And LAUGHTER oft is but an ART
To drown the outcry of the HEART!"


Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

Commas save lives!
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:50 PM   #5
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Letter from an Arab student from Miami to his father:

"Dear Dad,

America is a wonderful country, Miami is a fantastic city, the people are very nice and friendly ... I feel very comfortable here. To me it is only slightly embarrassed to drive my golden Bugatti Veyron in the university, since almost all the teachers and classmates are coming by train.
Your son, Mohammed "


The next day, Mohammed gets a response from his father:

"My dear son,
I have paid just $ 200 million to your account. Make us not fool our family and bring no disgrace. You go off right away and you also buy a train.

Love, Dad "


__________________
"On this hapless EARTH
There's small SINCERITY of mirth
And LAUGHTER oft is but an ART
To drown the outcry of the HEART!"


Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

Commas save lives!
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:21 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by dangerbob View Post
FAMOUS QUOTES:

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
David Bissonette

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."
Sacha Guitry

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
Anonymous

"The great question which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?'"
Dumas

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."
Sigmund Freud

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Anonymous

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Sam Kinison

"I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

James Holt McGavra

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

Patrick Murra

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."
Nash

"You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to."

Anonymous

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met."

Henny Youngman

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
Rodney Dangerfield

"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'"

Anonymous

"First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'"

Anonymous

"If your wife asks what you are thinking tell her...'if I wanted you to know I would be talking not thinking.'"
Al Bundy
My wife has been a great life partner.
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:40 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by ctmurray View Post
My wife has been a great life partner.
You are one of the lucky ones. For every rule there is an exception!

Note: I hope you're not taking the above jokes seriously. Those are just for fun while we are eagerly anticipating for the start of new LPGA Season tournaments.
__________________
"On this hapless EARTH
There's small SINCERITY of mirth
And LAUGHTER oft is but an ART
To drown the outcry of the HEART!"


Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

Commas save lives!
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:44 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by ctmurray View Post
My wife has been a great life partner.
Mine has put up with military life and several years of active alcoholism, so I guess she's been a good one, too. I doubt that I'd have stayed had the roles been reversed.
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Old 02-04-2012, 12:38 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by MarinePaul View Post
Mine has put up with military life and several years of active alcoholism, so I guess she's been a good one, too. I doubt that I'd have stayed had the roles been reversed.
I know you'd say...you've been keeping up with the Buzzer and me for a long time!

And of course with Blue! LOL
__________________
"On this hapless EARTH
There's small SINCERITY of mirth
And LAUGHTER oft is but an ART
To drown the outcry of the HEART!"


Let's eat Grandpa.
Let's eat, Grandpa.

Commas save lives!

Last edited by dangerbob; 02-04-2012 at 12:42 PM.
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Old 02-04-2012, 12:42 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by dangerbob View Post
I know you'd say...you've been keeping up with the Buzzer and me for a long time!
Good point, but I have to admit, Buzzer's fairly easy to put up with.
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